How to Talk to Your Partner About Going to Therapy

Bringing up therapy with your partner can feel like one of the hardest conversations in a relationship. You might worry about how they will react, whether they will feel blamed, or whether the suggestion itself will make things worse. These concerns are completely normal. The truth is that starting this conversation is often the single most important step a couple can take toward a healthier relationship.

Research from the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists shows that after completing couples therapy, approximately 90 percent of clients report improvements in emotional well being and over 75 percent experience greater satisfaction in their relationships (Lebow and Snyder, 2022). Despite these encouraging numbers, most couples wait an average of six years after problems begin before seeking professional help. The sooner you start the conversation, the sooner you and your partner can begin building a stronger connection.

At Sentio Counseling Center, we provide online relationship counseling throughout California on a sliding scale starting at $15 per session. Whether you live in Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego, Sacramento, Fresno, Oakland, or any community across the state, our therapists are here to help.

Why Is It So Hard to Suggest Therapy to Your Partner?

Many people associate therapy with crisis. If your partner hears the word "therapy," they may assume you believe the relationship is broken or that you are preparing to leave. Others may worry about being judged by a stranger, or they may have cultural or family beliefs that discourage seeking outside help for personal matters.

According to Tony Rousmaniere, PsyD, Executive Director of Sentio Counseling Center and Past President of APA Division 29, "One of the biggest misconceptions about couples therapy is that it is only for relationships in crisis. In reality, the couples who benefit most are often those who seek support early, before resentment has a chance to build. Therapy is not a sign that something is broken. It is a sign that both partners are willing to invest in the relationship."

Understanding your partner's potential concerns ahead of time can help you approach the conversation with empathy and patience. The goal is not to convince or pressure but to open a dialogue about what you both want from the relationship.

When Should You Consider Couples Therapy?

There is no single right time to start therapy. Some couples seek support at the first signs of communication struggles, while others come after years of conflict. A few common situations that may signal it is time to consider professional help include recurring arguments that never seem to reach resolution, emotional distance or a growing sense of disconnection, a major life transition such as a move, job loss, or the arrival of a child, infidelity or a significant breach of trust, and differences in parenting, finances, or future goals that create ongoing tension.

A 2023 survey by Verywell Mind found that 99 percent of couples currently in therapy reported that it had a positive impact on their relationship (Verywell Mind, 2023). The same survey found that while 68 percent of cohabiting couples believe it is best to start therapy before serious problems develop, only 18 percent actually do. This gap suggests that many couples recognize the value of early intervention but struggle to take the first step.

If you are located anywhere in California, from Long Beach to Bakersfield, Riverside to Santa Barbara, Sentio Counseling Center makes it easy to get started with online counseling from the comfort of your home.

How Do You Bring Up Therapy Without Making Your Partner Feel Blamed?

The way you frame the conversation matters as much as the words you choose. Approaching therapy as something you want to do together, rather than something your partner needs, can make a significant difference. Speak from your own experience. Instead of saying "you never listen to me," try something like "I want us to feel closer, and I think having a professional guide us could really help."

Choose a calm moment for the conversation, not during or right after an argument. Let your partner know this is about strengthening your relationship, not assigning fault. Be honest about your own role in the challenges you face as a couple.

According to Alexandre Vaz, PhD, Chief Academic Officer at Sentio University and co-editor of the APA Essentials of Deliberate Practice book series, "The most productive conversations about therapy happen when both partners feel safe. That means approaching the topic with curiosity rather than criticism. When you show that you are willing to look at your own patterns and grow, your partner is far more likely to feel invited rather than accused."

If your partner is still unsure, you might suggest attending just one session to see what it feels like. You can also share that Sentio's counselors are trained to create a warm, nonjudgmental environment where both partners are heard equally.

What If Your Partner Says No to Therapy?

It is common for one partner to feel ready for therapy before the other. If your partner is hesitant, try to understand their specific concerns. Are they worried about cost? Let them know that nonprofit therapy options exist, including Sentio Counseling Center's sliding scale fees that range from $15 to $90 per session with no income verification required. Are they concerned about privacy? Share that all sessions at Sentio are conducted through a HIPAA compliant telehealth platform and follow the same confidentiality protections as any therapy practice. Are they skeptical that therapy works? The evidence may help. Emotionally Focused Therapy, one of the approaches used at Sentio, has been shown in multiple studies to produce a 70 to 75 percent recovery rate for couples in distress, with approximately 90 percent of couples showing significant improvement (Johnson, 2019).

If your partner still declines, consider starting individual counseling on your own. Working on your own patterns and communication skills can positively influence your relationship even if your partner is not yet ready to participate. Many people find that once one partner begins therapy, the other becomes more open to joining over time.

What Happens in Couples Therapy?

Understanding what actually happens in a therapy session can help ease anxiety for both partners. Couples therapy typically begins with an intake session where the therapist learns about your relationship, your goals, and the challenges that brought you in. From there, sessions focus on identifying patterns in how you communicate, handle conflict, and connect emotionally.

At Sentio Counseling Center, therapists use evidence-based approaches including Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and other modalities tailored to each couple's needs. Our clinicians are trained through a Deliberate Practice model, which means they continuously refine their skills through structured feedback and clinical outcome data. This approach is supported by research showing that therapist skill level is one of the strongest predictors of client outcomes, more so than years of experience alone (Chow et al., 2015).

Sessions are typically held weekly and last about 50 minutes. Many couples begin to see meaningful improvement within 8 to 12 sessions, though the length of therapy depends on your goals and the complexity of your concerns.

Does Online Couples Therapy Actually Work?

Yes. Research consistently demonstrates that online therapy is as effective as in-person therapy for most relationship concerns. A growing body of evidence supports telehealth-delivered couples therapy as a valid and effective treatment modality (Doss et al., 2022). Online therapy offers several practical advantages for couples, including the ability to attend from separate locations if needed, no commuting after a long day, and greater scheduling flexibility.

Sentio Counseling Center provides all services through secure online video sessions, making therapy accessible to couples throughout California. Whether you are in Anaheim, Pasadena, Irvine, the San Fernando Valley, Orange County, San Bernardino County, Alameda County, Ventura County, Sacramento, San Jose, Oakland, Stockton, or any of the state's rural and underserved communities, you can access the same quality of care from home. Visit our locations served page for a complete list of communities we serve.

How Much Does Couples Therapy Cost in California?

Cost is one of the biggest barriers to couples therapy. In California, private practice therapists often charge $175 to $250 or more per session for couples work. Over weeks or months of treatment, the expense can become prohibitive for many families.

Sentio Counseling Center was founded to address this gap. As a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, we offer sliding scale therapy with fees ranging from $15 to $90 per session based on your financial situation. We do not require income verification. You tell us what you can afford, and we trust your assessment. Our $15 minimum is among the lowest available from any therapy provider in California.

We also provide superbills upon request for clients who wish to seek out-of-network reimbursement from their insurance. To learn more, visit our FAQ page or contact us directly.

Can You Do Couples Therapy in Spanish or Mandarin?

Yes. Sentio Counseling Center offers therapy in English, Spanish, and Mandarin Chinese. Having access to a therapist who speaks your preferred language can make a meaningful difference in the depth and effectiveness of your sessions. Whether both partners share a language or you need a therapist who can work across languages, we can help. Sliding scale fees apply equally regardless of the language in which you receive therapy.

How Do You Get Started with Couples Therapy at Sentio?

Getting started is straightforward. Complete the online intake form or contact our team directly. Let us know you are interested in couples therapy, and a member of our staff will reach out to discuss your goals, scheduling needs, and financial situation. We will match you with a therapist based on your preferences and availability, and most couples begin therapy within one to two weeks of their initial inquiry.

Sentio Counseling Center is affiliated with Sentio University, a nonprofit graduate institution in Los Angeles whose Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy program is built around the Deliberate Practice model. Our counseling center serves as the clinical training site where evidence-based approaches are put into practice with real clients. This means you receive care from therapists whose skills are being developed through one of the most rigorous clinical training models in the field, with ongoing supervision from experienced licensed professionals. Learn more about our counselors, supervisors, and staff.

Frequently Asked Questions About Talking to Your Partner About Therapy

Is couples therapy only for relationships that are falling apart?

No. Couples therapy is beneficial at any stage of a relationship, from early dating to long-term marriage. Many couples seek therapy proactively to strengthen communication, navigate life transitions, or deepen their emotional connection. Research shows that early intervention leads to better outcomes, and couples who enter therapy before problems become severe tend to experience faster improvement.

How do I convince my partner to go to therapy?

Rather than trying to convince your partner, focus on sharing your own feelings and what you hope therapy could do for your relationship. Use language that emphasizes partnership, such as "I would love for us to try this together." Avoid framing it as something your partner needs to fix. If they remain hesitant, suggest trying just one session to see how it feels.

How much does couples therapy cost at Sentio Counseling Center?

Sentio Counseling Center offers couples therapy on a sliding scale from $15 to $90 per session. Fees are based on your financial situation, and no income verification is required. As a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, our mission is to make therapy accessible to all Californians.

Can I start individual therapy while I wait for my partner to be ready?

Yes. Many individuals begin therapy on their own while their partner considers joining. Individual therapy can help you develop healthier communication patterns and process your own emotions, which often has a positive ripple effect on the relationship. Sentio offers individual counseling on the same sliding scale.

Do you serve couples outside of Los Angeles?

Yes. Sentio Counseling Center provides online therapy to couples throughout all of California. We serve clients in Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego, Sacramento, San Jose, Oakland, Long Beach, Fresno, Bakersfield, Riverside, Anaheim, Pasadena, Irvine, Santa Barbara, and every community in between, including rural and underserved areas. Visit our locations served page for details.

What therapy approaches do you use for couples?

Our therapists use evidence-based approaches including Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), cognitive behavioral therapy, and other modalities. EFT is one of the most extensively researched approaches in the field, with studies showing a 70 to 75 percent recovery rate for couples in distress. Our therapists are trained through a Deliberate Practice model that emphasizes continuous skill improvement through structured feedback and outcome measurement. Learn more about our approach on our relationship counseling page.

References

Chow, D. L., Miller, S. D., Seidel, J. A., Kane, R. T., Thornton, J. A., and Andrews, W. P. (2015). The role of deliberate practice in the development of highly effective psychotherapists. Psychotherapy, 52(3), 337 to 345.

Doss, B. D., Roddy, M. K., Wiebe, S. A., and Johnson, S. M. (2022). A review of the research during 2010 to 2019 on evidence-based treatments for couple relationship distress. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 48(1), 283 to 306.

Johnson, S. M. (2019). Attachment Theory in Practice: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with Individuals, Couples, and Families. Guilford Press.

Lebow, J. L., and Snyder, D. K. (2022). Couple therapy in the 2020s: Current status and emerging developments. Family Process, 61(4), 1305 to 1324.

Verywell Mind (2023). Relationships and Therapy Survey. Dotdash Meredith.